3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
