We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
