u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
