My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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