no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The power of my boobs compel you
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
