Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
