Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
