I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
