Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize