Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Damn victory sex feels great
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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