I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i now understand why vodka
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
