Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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