Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I currently don't understand fingers.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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