im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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