Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
