Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
