just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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