Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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