Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
True strength comes from lack of pants
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
