That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
