whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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