That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
