all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
