Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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