mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
