My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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