if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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