i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
