you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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