he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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