Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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