he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
