it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
