No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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