Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
