You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you inspire me to be a worse person
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
