Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
