i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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