woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
