Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
