four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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