Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
