What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
