We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
