I showed him my bush... on skype.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
