naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
