And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
