Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
there is glitter all over my balls
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
