He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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