when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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