he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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