And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's blow job season.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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