Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize