your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
