the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
