Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
