One girl and one boy is just not enough.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
