Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
