We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
